I control nothing
**I Control Nothing** is a reflection on the tension between planning responsibly and trying to control the things that were never ours to control. Through the highs and lows of life, Scripture reminds us that we can choose how we respond, trust God with the outcome, and rest in knowing that our lives are safely held in His hands.
Thomas Haney
8/28/20266 min read
A few weeks ago, I wrote something in my journal that I have found myself coming back to again and again:
“I control nothing. We deceive ourselves if we forget that our very existence is a miracle carefully set in the palm of God’s hand.”
I wrote those words in a quiet moment, but they have become increasingly relevant as I look back over 2026.
This has been a year of highs and lows. There has been life and death, celebration and disappointment, answered prayers and prayers that are still waiting for an answer. There have been moments when I felt like I was standing on solid ground and others where I struggle to keep my footing. Where there was an uncertainty in my soul and questions that don't have answers sufficient to quell the storm inside.
And through all of it, I have been reminded of something that is both incredibly simple and incredibly difficult:
I am not in control.
None of us are.
We like to think we are.
We make plans. We create budgets. We set goals. We build careers. We raise families. We save for retirement. We make lists and schedules and backup plans for our backup plans. Yet we are still set on this beautiful world 🌎 of life that is literally spiraling through a greater universe filled with the unexpected.
And there is nothing inherently wrong with any of that.
In fact, Scripture encourages us to be wise and faithful stewards of what God has entrusted to us.
But somewhere along the way, we can move from planning responsibly to believing we control and are responsible for all of the outcomes.
Those are two very different things.
Stewardship Is Not Control
There is wisdom in planning.
Proverbs tells us:
“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.”
— Proverbs 21:5
Jesus also spoke about counting the cost before beginning a project (Luke 14:28).
So this isn't an argument for abandoning responsibility.
Pay the bills.
Make the budget.
Prepare for tomorrow.
Take care of your family.
Work hard.
Save when you can.
Make wise decisions.
Be a good steward of whatever God has placed in your hands.
But then comes the part we often struggle with:
Let go of the outcome.
Because no matter how carefully we plan, there are things we cannot control.
We cannot control tomorrow.
We cannot control what another person will decide.
We cannot control whether an opportunity works out.
We cannot control when someone gets sick.
We cannot control when someone we love dies.
We cannot control the economy, the weather, other people's reactions, or the circumstances that suddenly appear at our doorstep.
And sometimes we can't even control what happens inside our own hearts.
Yet we spend an incredible amount of energy trying.
The Exhaustion of Trying to Control Everything 😫
I think a lot of our stress comes from this very thing.
We find ourselves grasping.
Trying to hold everything together.
Trying to predict what will happen next.
Trying to make sure every possible problem has been solved before it ever happens.
Trying to control how other people see us.
Trying to control our children's futures.
Trying to control our finances.
Trying to control our careers.
Trying to control the things we are afraid might happen.
And eventually, we become exhausted.
Not necessarily because we are doing too much, but because we are carrying things that were never ours to carry.
I work in a profession where my job is to solve problems. During some self reflection I discovered that I approach feeling security with problem solving.
Though helpful at work this is not always the right response to life. Sometimes the best path is in not trying to fix anything but rather being present in the moment. And that is extremely difficult for me. Where safely is found more in thinking than feeling.
Jesus gives us a beautiful reminder in Matthew 6:
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
— Matthew 6:34
Notice that Jesus doesn't say tomorrow won't have trouble.
He says tomorrow belongs to tomorrow.
Today has enough for today. So lets not borrow trouble.
There is freedom in that.
What If We Focused on What We Can Actually Do?
If I cannot control the outcome, what can I control?
I can choose how I respond.
I can choose whether I will act with love.
I can choose whether I will forgive.
I can choose whether I will tell the truth.
I can choose whether I will show grace.
I can choose whether I will be generous.
I can choose whether I will encourage someone who is hurting.
I can choose whether I will be present with my family.
I can choose whether I will trust God when I don't understand what He is doing.
I can choose to put my worries in His hands instead of trying to carry them myself.
Paul writes in Galatians about the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22–23).
Look at that list.
It doesn't say we can control circumstances.
It doesn't say we can control other people.
It doesn't say we can control the future.
It points us toward something much more important:
Who are we becoming in the middle of whatever God allows us to walk through?
That is where our choices matter.
God Has Never Asked Us to Hold the World Together
Sometimes I need to remind myself that God has not asked me to hold everything together.
That's His job.
Psalm 55:22 says:
“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.”
Not manage your burden perfectly.
Not figure everything out first.
Not carry it until you are strong enough to handle it.
Cast it.
Give it to Him.
Peter echoes the same idea:
“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
— 1 Peter 5:7
There is something incredibly personal about that verse.
God doesn't simply tell us, “Don't worry.”
He tells us why we can let go.
Because He cares for us.
Carefully Held
I keep coming back to the imagery I wrote in my journal:
Our very existence is a miracle carefully set in the palm of God's hand.
Think about how much of your life was completely outside of your control.
You didn't choose when or where you were born.
You didn't control who would enter your life.
You didn't orchestrate every opportunity that came your way.
You didn't prevent every disappointment.
You didn't plan every relationship.
You didn't determine every twist and turn that brought you to where you are today.
And yet here you are.
Still breathing.
Still here.
Still loved.
Still given another day.
That alone is a gift.
Psalm 139 reminds us that God knows us intimately. He knew us before we ever took our first breath. And Jesus reminds us that even the hairs of our heads are numbered (Matthew 10:30).
If God cares about details that small, perhaps we can trust Him with the details that feel enormous to us.
Perhaps we can stop gripping so tightly.
Rest in Him
This doesn't mean life will suddenly become easy.
There will still be phone calls we don't want to receive.
Bills we don't know how we will pay.
Doctors' appointments that make us nervous.
Goodbyes we weren't ready to say.
Plans that fall apart.
Doors that close.
People who disappoint us.
Dreams that take longer than expected.
Life will continue to be life.
But we don't have to walk through it alone.
Jesus said:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:28
I love that Jesus doesn't say, “Come to me once you have everything figured out.”
He says come while you're tired.
Come while you're carrying too much.
Come while you're confused.
Come while you're worried.
Come while you don't know what tomorrow looks like.
Come.
And rest.
Maybe that is the lesson I am still learning in 2026.
Plan, but don't pretend you control the plan.
Work hard, but don't worship the work.
Be a good steward, but remember that everything ultimately belongs to God.
Make wise choices, but trust God with the consequences.
Love people, even when you cannot control how they respond.
And simply... be present.
And when life gets bigger than you, remember that it was always bigger than you.
That's okay.
Because it isn't bigger than God.
You Don't Have to Know What's Next
Maybe you're reading this while standing in the middle of something you didn't plan.
Maybe life has taken a turn you didn't expect.
Maybe you're grieving someone you love.
Maybe you're worried about your family.
Maybe you're staring at a financial situation that doesn't seem to have an obvious answer.
Maybe you're waiting on God and wondering why He hasn't moved yet.
Or maybe things are actually going well, but you're already worrying about how long it will last.
Wherever you are, take a breath.
You don't have to know everything that comes next.
You don't have to control tomorrow.
You don't have to carry the entire weight of your life on your shoulders.
Make the choice that is in front of you.
Choose love.
Choose grace.
Choose faithfulness.
Choose kindness.
Choose courage.
Choose to trust.
Then put the things you cannot control into the hands of the One who can.
Proverbs 3:5–6 tells us:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
We may not know where the path leads.
But we know who walks with us.
And maybe that is enough.
So tonight, or whenever you find yourself carrying more than you were meant to carry, loosen your grip.
Take another breath.
Give God the things you cannot control.
Be faithful with what He has placed in your hands today.
And then rest.
You are not holding the world together.
God is.
And you?
You are right where you have always been—
carefully held in the palm of His hand.